This is a really good subject. I believe that like in the animal kingdom we have alpha males and alpha females. People need alphas to lead and to look up to. The people who said it depends on the situation are right it really does depend on the situation. I also think it may have something to do with good looks. I have been told a few times now that I am an Alpha Female and I have been aware of some kind of affect on men that appears to happen, I also tend to be attracted to the typical Alpha Male type. I have also seen other Alpha Females at work and have noticed that they do have a definite affect on men, and an Alpha female will tend to be surrounded by beta males, but not so much be attracted to them, if that makes sense.
The Alpha female, like the Alpha male, is strong, confident and like a queen bee, the workers will do anything for her. Alpha Males and Females seem to fit together and make an unstoppable force, a valuable partnership. Even in a situation where there is just an Alpha female and lots of females and no males these females will still look up to her and be in awe of the Alpha female, and vice versa for the male.
Think about any situation and you will generally find there is an alpha male and/or female. As a naturally confident person i seem to be an Alpha in most situations, only rarely am i not. In one situation I joined a place which already had an Alpha female and male, but the female was not very nice and the beta females didnt really like her too much, so in a way i had to fight for the role of alpha, except it didnt feel like fighting i was just making friends, so maybe if people like and respect you it makes you an Alpha?? In the end me and the Alpha became such good friends she faded into the background before disappearing completely.
So again maybe a female needs a male?? We have a strong relationship now and he understands me better than anyone else can maybe because he's on the same level. Thing is he's a laid back type and the role just come naturally to him, but he's one of those very good looking men whom the betas lust for, we have been dating for a year and a half now and the whole Alpha role still comes to the both of us. What other types of alphas do people know coz i find it unusual that he is an alpha for such a laid back person??
Have you noticed that people who go in for categorising human beings by letters of the alphabet invariably describe themselves as Alphas? Other people may be described as betas, gammas, deltas or whatever, but nobody ever admits to being less than an Alpha themselves. I wonder why this is? Betaism is evidently something that only happens to other people.
I personally would steer well clear of anyone who went on like this in real life. If some woman came swanking up to me saying "I'm an alpha, you're a beta" my inclination would be to give her a good punch up the hooter. As far as I'm concerned, she'd be well out of order.
Having read 'Brave New World' at a very impressionable age, I find all this business of designating people as letters of the alphabet highly distasteful, and I think people who do it are to be avoided.
Brave New World is a novel by Aldous Huxley set in a future in which babies are grown in test tubes. Babies are programed while they are growing to develop into different types to fulfill different functions. Alphas hold all the top jobs and run things, and the other grades of human are programmed to have lesser degrees of intelligence and initiative, until you get down to the 'epsilon semi-moron' category. All are programmed from before birth to be supremely content with their lot and to believe that theirs is the best category to belong to. Children are raised in nurseries, 'Mother' and 'father' are dirty words, promiscuity is compulsory, and Henry Ford is God. Everyone is programmed to die at the age of 50, so there is no old age, and if you feel the slightest bit unhappy you take a wonderful drug called 'soma' which stops you thinking sad or dangerous thoughts. Culture is frowned on, and 'history is bunk'.
Outside the civilised, urban world that most people live in are tribes of savages living in the wilderness, who still worshhip God and believe in monogamy and have (ugh, disgusting) mothers and fathers and family life. The book tells what happens when a Savage is introduces to civilisation, and the effect he has on some of the people he meets, a couple of whom are discontented with their superficial, civilised world.
Thank you for saying you liked my 'punch up the hooter' remark; actually I put that one in specially for you, since you were kind enough to say you'd enjoyed my 'leave it out' comment!
I hope you enjoy all your books. I think Brave new world is a more interesting book really than 1984, because whereas in 1984 it is obvious that the world they live in is quite horrible, in Brave New World the horribleness is more insiduous, because on the surface at least it looks in some ways like quite a pleasant place to live (for Alphas anyway). My favourite George Orwell is Homage to Catalonia, which is about his experiences in the Spanish Civil War, it is utterly brilliant and I think better than any of his fiction.
I never know how my comments are going to go down on here, one person tells me off for being too barbed or abrasive or something, then you come along and tell me you like my stuff and this just eggs me on!
I find it very easy to express opinions in writing, much less easy in conversation. I mean, I could never imagine talking to anybody in real life about the sort of things discussed on here, for instance. I don't say anything deliberately to offend, and am usually slightly surprised when anything I say offends anyone, because I always wonder why anyone should care. Especially the women who write on this site, most of whom seem to be competent, confident, efficient, strong, multi-tasking, Alpha etc, all the things I am so NOT. But there you go. I seem to have a gift for annoying people. The moderator on a Yahoo group I belong to recently called me "totally brain-fucked", and for all I know he may be right.
Husbands are difficult to get right sometimes. Mine's always gone in for telling me off quite a lot, the trouble was he always came on too strong and I used to feel nagged and/ or bullied, it didn't have a sexy effect on me at all,it just made me feel angry, or miserable or withdrawn. I often used to wish I was married to someone more easy-going and laid back. Discovering that there were other ways of coping with our differences has been very interesting.
Oh, the house, my God, just look at it! If he was to walk in now.......!!! Oh well, Ive got two days to do something about it!
As a MAN, I'm about to share something I hope will help women who are looking for an Alpha male. As many here have noted, true Alpha males are a rare breed indeed. In my lifetime, I have come across maybe only a handful. There were many guys I've known who exhibited Alpha-like qualities such as dominance, assertiveness, etc. But perhaps only one or two that stand out as what you ladies might call true Alpha. Needless to say, women naturally flocked to them. I was always amazed at how easy it was for them to just be COOL around everyone. They commanded respect from a place of quiet confidence. Of the Alphas I've known, there were three obvious traits that they had in common. Here they are:
3) Self aware and socially aware
These traits are tempered by the following Golden Rule:
DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU.
And its corollary:
DO NOT TOLERATE BEHAVIOR FROM OTHERS THAT VIOLATE THE GOLDEN RULE.
From these traits, all else follows. For example, a man who is truly independent does not feel the need to supplicate or seek approval from others. He is completely fine on his own. With point 2, he knows what he wants and goes for it. No excuses. Point 3 allows him to be fully comfortable in his own skin because he understands himself and his surroundings. In a word, he is CONFIDENT. When he is in a relationship, he comes from a place of ABUNDANCE rather than a place of LACK. Most men never get a handle on this part of their lives (or are even aware of it), and look to relationships to fill a void. How can they ever be dominant coming from a place of neediness?
Now here's the tricky part. Although 1, 2, 3 are Alpha prerequisites. They need to be within the context of the Golden Rule. Even jerks can exhibit 1, 2, 3. In fact, selfishness is the very reason typical 'bad boys' inadvertently attract women. Their get-what-you-want-at-all-cost attitude is what some women interpret as DOMINANCE. And I know most of you ladies don't want THAT. Right? =)
So that's where the Golden Rule (and its corollary) shines. Because this is what allows the expression of those Alpha traits in a positive, life-affirming way. One other subtle point needs to be made. And that is how is it women can sense an Alpha without him uttering a single word? The answer, of course, is his BODY LANGUAGE. This non-verbal component of an Alpha male's expression is what allows others to identify him as the Alpha. He is able to respectfully maintain eye contact with everyone around him. His gestures are fluid and relaxed because doubt and urgency do not control his emotions. He walks into a room with an inner confidence because he is not afraid to be judged, because others opinions of him are really none of his business. He can sit quietly by himself and look comfortable doing so (most people are so shifty because they think all eyes are on them). When you see him on the street, there is a purpose in his stride yet he doesn't appear rushed. These external cues come from what is going on INSIDE.
One more thing, ladies. If you find a man with all these qualities PLUS a genuine sense of humor, he's that proverbial one in a million. Treasure him!
I'll share a story that happened to me that brings home all of these points.
The other night I was out with my girlfriend and we were on our way to dinner at a new restaurant (that I chose). For some reason on the way there, she started complaining about how the food's not going to be good, how we should have gone somewhere else, etc. Now this is all within ten minutes of driving, and we haven't even sat down to eat yet! So I just continued driving and sat back to assess the situation. Now let me confess that in my younger days, I would have probably freaked out in response to this out-of-the-blue occurrence. Here I was trying to make the night memorable and... WTF?
But you know, that didn't happen. In fact, I remember almost laughing to myself that my grown-up girlfriend would act like such a schoolgirl. While she was throwing a tantrum (for whatever reason), I was grinning inside. After about a minute, I looked at her and said calmly, "Young lady, does pouting about it help? Or do you just need to be SPANKED? The food's gonna be great, and we are gonna have a wonderful time. Now behave."
Now I will leave it for the reader to see how those previous points played out in this particular situation. But it shouldn't be too difficult to see. And by the way, I don't want to come off as arrogant by implying that I'm Alpha here. But I am a little cocky, and that's the damn truth. =)
In case you're wondering, the rest of the night she just couldn't keep her hands off me. And when we got home, well... this is after all, a PG-rated site. Ciao!